Creepy, crawly critters are part of our lifestyle and you'll find them in back yards, on lanais, in classroom, at parks and inside our homes — no matter how clean we try to keep them.

Worst of all, they can leave us with nasty lumps or bites that itch for hours if not treated promptly.

Your first line of defense — according to nearly anyone's favorite aunty — is to: "Geeeve 'em good whack with rubba slippa."

But that's not always possible.

So to relieve the itching, scratching, welts and wounds caused by O'ahu's creepy critters, here are a few reliable home remedies from your kitchen cupboard that don't involve expensive lotions, potions or store bought spray-ons.

Bees or wasp stings — remove the stinger, then apply wet cigarette or chewing tobacco mixed with saliva to the affected area. But make sure the tobacco is juicy. Tobacco contains a mild analgesic and will ease the pain.

If tobacco's not available, rub the wound with underarm deodorant, Preparation H or after shave.

Mosquito bites — liquid Mylanta stops itching and the lump is gone in 30 minutes. A dab of clear nail polish also does the trick.

For more instant relief, apply hand soap to the bite and brush vigorously for 15 to 20 seconds. Rinse off the lather with cool water. A toothbrush works well because it can reach areas like ankles and back of your leg.

Spider bites — Soak a cotton ball in vinegar and place it on the bite. You might also hold the soaked cotton ball in place with a band aid. By morning, the swelling and soreness should be gone.

Check with a doctor or nurse for any spider bites, especially if swelling, fever, nausea, chills, dizziness or vomiting occur.

Ant bites — To relieve the sting and itching, spread a dab of Chinese mustard on the bite.

Yellow mustard that you smear on hotdogs works just as well.

Box jellyfish — Adolph's Meat-tenderizer will relieve pain and swelling. Mix a small amount of tenderizer with enough water to make the powder turn into a paste and apply for relief of both pain and swelling. It usually provides relief within 5 minutes.

If tenderizer isn't available, many kama'aina swear by the effectiveness of shishi (human urine). Apply directly from the source or fill a cup before pouring on the bite.

Other homestyle remedies that work on most bites and stings:

• Taro — The cut raw stem is used to relieve the pain and prevent swelling of insect bites and stings.
• Tiger Balm — This over-the-counter salve from China is available at Longs or any pharmacy.
• Potato — Juices from a fresh slice of potato applied to bite will relieve itching and absorb poison.
• Toothpaste — A dab of mint flavored paste (not gel) will numb bites.
• Onion — A sliced onion applied directly to bites will reduce swelling and pain in about 20 minutes.
• Baking powder — Mix with water to form a paste, then apply to bite or sting.

Sources: Mala Laau: A Garden of Hawaiian Healing Plants, Hawai'i Medical Library.

NATIVE HEALING POTIONS

Long before the advent of pain relief pills in childproof bottles, ancient Hawaiians relied on plants and herbs that grew wild in O'ahu's tropical forests, to achieve similar results.

Here's a sampling of some natural remedies around us:

Kukui — used to treat foul breath, rheumatic joints or muscles, deep bruises, constipation, swelling, external ulcers and sores, sore throat and herpes simplex virus.

Noni — used to treat boils, bruises, sores, wounds, broken bones, menstrual cramps, arthritis, gastric ulcers, high and low blood pressure, cancer, urinary disorders, diabetes and hair loss.

'Awa (kava) — used as a relaxant and to induce sleep. Relieves urinary tract infections, menstrual irregularities, respiratory tract congestion, headache, muscle pain and weakness in children.

Also used to sterilize wounds.

Kalo (taro) — relieves constipation